The Box

  I never knew a box to be so liberating.

 My friend James went out on Friday and bought himself a drum. When I say drum I mean a box. Well the fancy word for this fancy box drumming instrument is a cajón. For those who don't know what a cajón is (and believe me I didn't really know till I watched our friend's band "More like Trees" - check them out), it is basically a wooden box that you sit on and tap and beat with your hands. Anyway, James bought a cajón and the skeptic in me automatically said "its a box". This box however is fucking brilliant. This is my favourite type of box..... Well maybe not, but its a good box.
   O.K, Innuendo's aside when James showed me the cajón he had bought all I could think of was its limitations. There's no symbols, bass drum, sticks - just a box you sit on. I also thought it was just for hippies sitting outside of St Paul's. Then we jammed and I realised how 'real' this instrument is. The sounds it makes are incredible and its raw qualities are beyond anything I could have imagined.
   I bussed to his house on Friday evening with much eagerness to jam and get made up done in true Halloween spirit. I arrived and saw the new drum out of the case and ready to be played with. I knew he had the feeling of "aaaaagh, I have a new toy that needs to be played with but I can't appreciate it fully until I play with someone". I played his housemates neglected nylon string guitar and he played the box.
    The first time that you play music with somebody its a very unique, strange feeling. Both parties aren't sure what to play or who's going to lead. Everybody is unsure. Everybody is trying to understand what each other are doing, where are they going, are they thinking that "I can't play my instrument very well", "do they like my style". James and I got through this really quickly and found something that we were both looking for - authenticity.
  Both of us played the way we loved to play and found great moments of cohesion that I hadn't felt musically for a long time. It felt real. If we could have we would have stayed there all night and played till we fell asleep. 10 minutes was enough to want more though. We stopped, got our makeup done and went to the party (James took his cajón on his back to show off the new toy).
  This party made me think of times I missed out whilst I was growing up. My adolescence and youth saw me partake an anti-art walk of life. I love my childhood friends but the chance of turning up to a party and a full blown house jam busting out was nil. The hazy memory I have of the Halloween jam had at one point personnel of, a ukulele, a guitar, a bass, a double bass, the cajón of course and a violin. I remember thinking to myself "This is why I came to London". This is the type of scene I have craved for so long now. 
 James received some, from what I gather helpful tips from a very sound cajón player. These techniques involved moving your leg up and down the box,whilst using cupped hands to arrange unique cajón based beats. It was nice to see the seriousness within this drunken drum lesson. Identifiably James took lots on board for our scheduled real jam - Sunday.
  After spending the most of Saturday licking my wounds from Friday night, I woke up and on Sunday and went for a run to clear my head from a day of depressing couch dwelling. I arrived home after a forgettable few kilometers and saw the cajón sitting in my room with a note on it reading "back at 2". I thought, fuck yeah, he's serious. I met James at a pub with his girlfriend Philippa and drank a strong, dark Belgian beer which went straight past my 6 weetabix and found its way to my brain quite easily.
  Inspiration hits us back at my apartment in more ways than one and we started playing some songs I had written since I have been in London. They worked, we found grooves that I hadn't ever played before, we automatically found that musical relationship we briefly touched on on Friday. The way that we would finish a song and look at each other and giggle like little school girls told me that good things were happening. We played for over 2 hours and were and still are both so excited, We are ready to put effort in. We found a medium in our playing that allowed James to play some fast paced, yet spaced out cool time signatures that kept my melodies unforced whilst keeping my guitar playing sloppy but tight. Music is such a hard thing to describe in words.
  Previous to the purchase of the cajón by James I had been feeling frustrated. I had been feeling like I had been wasting my time. I felt like I had gone all the way back to square one of my musical quest. I knew I wasn't going to give up. Sometimes I find myself wondering when does someone in my position "give up".

Thank You James Voller

Thank you Box

Failure or Freedom

On Monday night I had a collection of people inhabit my living room. This was to be my first meeting (during my band quest) with people who actually played instruments. After rushing home from work and quickly restringing my guitar (thanks to Melisah who traveled all the way to Covent Garden to get them for me after realizing that 'The Duke of Uke" off Brick Lane was closed on Mondays - I'm pretty sure she punched and kicked the air after walking all that way literally being shown the door"), I had three complete strangers enter my flat and play some music for me. Matt (guitar), Beorn (vocals) and Karisah (violin) were all absoulutely lovely people who were extremely sound musicians.
    We got playing and I picked up some of their songs quite quickly adding my element as best as I could. At stages we played some extremely good music. Their song writing was extremely good and Beorn's voice can be described as "a more moan induced version of Jeff Buckley".
  I really enjoyed playing with people again. I showed them two of my songs, and as most people do they play their most recent as to which they are still most interested in. I played one called "gypsie girl" which has a poppy folk country resonance to it, and I also played my freshest unnamed number which is a scrappy blues driven song about a guy being killed on a ship (I've been freshening up on my World War II literature).
  Once my nerves subsided I realized how different my songs sounded to theirs and I could instantaneously feel my self fill with self-doubt. I'm still not sure why this is, but this is how I felt. I guess you could almost put it down to desperation. I wanted and still want to be in a band so much.
 The next day I messaged Matt and told him it was good (writing this I sound like a desperate teenager) and after a length of time he responded with this message.

Hey man....
was good fun for letting us hang out at your place. I think the general thought was that we were probably coming from places a little too far apart in terms of influence etc. That sounds stupid, especially coz we all really liked your stuff. I think we're just looking for someone with a bit more of a similar approach to what we already have. Good luck, and when you get stuff up and running send me a link.

At first I felt a little cut and was telling myself that I was a shit musician and I may as well give up and focus on teaching. After speaking to Melisah and going for a very intense short run I came out with a different perspective. I felt that if I joined that band, everything I have set out to achieve would become void. I want to start a band from the ground up and not just be a guitarist who sometimes throws in a song. The three people who habituated my living room for 2 hours are great musicians and I hope them well in their success but it would not have been for me.

In the end, it is always hard to be rejected in any forms of life especially when the form is your absolute passion. However, rejection occurs for many reasons. Some people dwell on it and give up and some people re-adjust what they are looking for and regather their insight and move on. I choose to be the latter.

More to come

love


Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.

King Kingsley?

A new character has fallen into the mix of band making. Kingsley, the pop choir/rapper extraordinaire who has a wish to be an X factor contestant met me for a drink in Aldgate. Even though I believe we are in different mind frames I believe there is potential of some sorts. A nice guy who lives for music and grew up listening to R.Kelly is ready for a new project. So it seems that potentially so far I have myself (vocals, guitar), Jordan (samples??) and Kingsley (Rapping). I guess that there are a few different ways to look at this. 1.What the fuck are these three guys meeting up for? 2. hmmmm that sounds ummm well I guess interesting. Time will tell
Love Tom

What shall the weekend bring

Much prosperity in regards to band.

- Meeting with a band called juice on Sunday. They need a new lead guitarist and this could be another project whilst I'm finding my own.
- Have been sent many tracks to listen to by different keen people ready to start something creative.
- Meeting with Danika the singer/songwriter on Tues.
-meeting with a bass player and drummer sometime next week.
- Still contacting Jordan my samples man
- I'm starting to get some excitement but I'm all too aware of getting ahead of myself.
- Also recorded some new stuff on Mel's laptop last night - pretty rough but different vibe to what I've done in the past and by no means is it any indication of what I'm trying to achieve. I will upload and let you all decide. Honest opinions welcome - will not be offended

Much Love

The story so far

As it happens, I am trying to start a band. This not the first time I have tried to achieve this feat. On my 19th birthday (my first year of university) my dear mother bought an acoustic guitar. Previous to this my musical history was all of: "Mum I don't want to go to piano lessons" and "Yes ma'am, I swear I have been practicing".
This decision that mum made to buy a guitar was a decision that changed my life forever. I initially wanted a guitar because of how easy "guitar guys" pulled at Uni. My high school life in regards to music was non-existent. This doesn't just include playing an instrument, but my desire to be influenced by good music was questionable. I had never heard of Radiohead, Rage against the Machine scared me, and Kurt Cobain was a guy who died and sent my sister into depression.
Through University I locked myself in my room and at times and became a recluse because I had this absolute need to play guitar properly. I had never had an attachment to anything quite like this before. I went from being an over muscled rugby guy, to someone who didn't care much for sports anymore. This was not overly effective for my studies (particularly because I was studying sport science), however my guitar playing skills increased in a short amount of time. By the time I went home to visit, I was playing 'Tears in Heaven' in full and dabbling in 'Stairway to Heaven'.
Satisfaction was a long way away though. I couldn't sing and I wanted to play guitar solo's like Richie Sambora. I guess I just plugged away over the next couple years sitting there at night in front of my computer screen, learning how to read tabs and all the "classics" on Ultimate-Guitar.com. After a while this process turns monotonous and the peaks and troughs with motivation and skill level were synonymous. The times I couldn't afford strings could be some of the most depressing times but I look back and I realise that these forced breaks were actually helping me improve. 
I can still remember the few first times I stumbled across a jam - it was one of the most liberating experiences. The first time, my friends and I got drunk and ended up at a party that had a guitar and drum set up. I turned the guitar up (actually I got someone to do it for me because I had never played an electric guitar) and smashed out "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi and screamed it into a microphone whilst my friend played the drums. This is not the part where I went "hey I want to be a rock star" or "hey I can actually sing". I was actually pretty terrible but enjoyed the 3 minutes of the spotlight I had so much that I turned into a guitar hog for the night. I can't stand people at parties (otherwise known as doosh bags) who turn off the music when the vibe isn't right to let everybody listen to them. But that was me.
The second time I remember jamming with someone was a magnificent experience. Me and some boys were part of an all day drinking session and a guy who was renowned as an excellent guitar player and he had just purchased a $5000 custom acoustic guitar. He sat down and asked if anyone knew how to play the chords Am and F. I sheepishly admitted I could and he showed me how to play an open F, which was an amazing sound for me. I played those two chords in succession over and over (which was just about my capabilty) whilst I watched him shred playing scales and licks like a true hero. I woke up and decided that I needed to do whatever that guy could do. I practiced and practiced and got to a point where I could play scales and make up a solo to the Kooks "Ooh La".

This brings me to why I have started this blog. In my final year of Uni one of my closest childhood friends, Brodie purchased a set of drums. Brodie was an established musician who's guitar playing capability exceeded mine to an astonishing level. His heavy blues background was something that intrigued me and his ability to hear a song an play it straight away was Robert Johnson-esque. However, Brodie wanted to play drums and he wanted to start a band, and I guess it seemed right that I play with him.
Our original set up was laughable (and I guess people laughed alot - but so did we). He set up his drums in his pool room and I set up my "amp" and taped a "microphone" to his pool table. I would sit down on a box and screech into the microphone with my amplifier turned to 10 whilst Brodie would play the drums so hard that sweat would be dripping in places I didn't know it could drip from. It was fun. It was the most fun I had ever had. Friends would come around and listen to our arrangements of "Nothing Else Matters", "Wonderwall" and "Iris". Our group of friends were lovers of music but were amused that two of their mates were playing music. I think at times they may have been envious though.
We both loved what we were doing so much that we started our quest to "start a band". In my eyes I figured we had a band. Brodie - who could keep a level head whilst I would be 150 steps ahead of where we should be, knew we needed a bass player and a singer (as much as I wanted to sing I still couldn't hold a note). I was determined to sing however I thought it was an impossibility until Brodie's mum one day said, "you guys sound great, however it will better when you get a real singer". I agreed  but deep down I knew from that moment on I would be singing, so I stubbornly practiced obsessively and surprise surprise, I could sing. Not well but I could sing.
We found a bass player "Smart" through my girlfriend at a time who actually had never played bass and didn't want to play bass but was a good guitarist. A much better guitarist than me but I couldn't sing and play bass at the same time.
This was the first of many mistakes I made whilst creating a band including, getting a drummer 6 years younger than us (oh yeah Brodie moved to lead guitar because he couldn't keep in time on drums when we recorded) who didn't suit our style or sound. We recorded too early, we gigged to early, we wrote a vast array of songs before we had a sound ( I didn't quite know what this "sound" thing was or how important it was), our musical influences were very limited and all in all we thought we were a better band than we actually were.
After getting to a point where we opened for a band that peaked in the 80's at the top of the pops, and gaining a manager we thought we were on the way. It all came crumbling down. Bassist quits and rejoins after much persuasion. Brodie went away. Drummer not allowed to play at various clubs because he was 17. Then all of a sudden I realized I hated being in the band and it wasn't fun and we were practicing less and less and I decide to book a ticket overseas. Drummer quits, I quit. Band finished.

So, if you have got to this point of the blog you are about to realize the purpose of it. I have decided to start a new band. The gumtree advert below is the first actual step I have taken. I have been away from my homeland for over 12 months now and have just returned back to London from 3 and a half months of traveling Europe. Along the way I had an abundance of musical epiphany's and am now living with my new artist girlfriend who is supporting my desire to be in a successful band. So, this blog will trace the steps I take in searching for new band mates, ideas and sounds.
 So far I have met with a guy named Jordan, who walked into the cafe sat down ordered a coffee and then told me he doesn't play an instrument but "he might be able to sing - maybe". After my initial shock and thoughts of "why are you here then??" he told me about his ability to make samples on his computer and we went back to my place and listened to all our influences and discussed ideas. He left with me an open mind, something that I don't think I had in my previous band escapades.
By following this blog you are going to get a first hand account of what it is like trying to start a band. It is an exciting time with success or FUTURE DUST around the corner.

"No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn" - Jim Morrison

So it Begins...

 http://www.gumtree.com/p/community/vocalistguitarist-looking-for-people-to-start-a-band-in-east-london/88300396

 Hi I am looking for a few people who love to play music to jam/write songs with. I want to start playing with more people and am not restricting any instrument/style. I want to start with some acoustic stuff first and see if anything works and try and build a sound with musicians who are on the same page. The goal is to start a band that will be serious and strive to gig and record. I have influences in many different genres and specific bands range from Foals, The Cure, The White Stripes, Robert Johnson the XX but like I said I am not resticted to any specific instruments or styles. I really want to try something progressive. I am a 25 year old male living in Shoreditch and would be looking to practice at least twice a week. There is enough room in my flat to practice in my living room so we don't have to pay for a studio at first. This is something I want to do seriously but have a lot of fun in the meantime. If you think you want to come see if this can work, let me know as soon as you can...

Tom